# 033 Time for change

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. .

Quite true except that my bags aren't packed yet and I don't think I'll ever be really ready to go.. and its outside my door that I'm standing, saying goodbye to more than just one person. And am definitely not leaving on a jet plane. But leaving anyway. And this song keeps playing in my head.

There's so much to do, so much to say, so many people to meet, so many places to go...that the fact that I'm actually leaving home for the first time in my life is buried under a heap of expectations, hopes and disappointments too.

Its not supposed to be a big deal because so many people have been there and done that. But still, it is. Because its my turn and I never expected it and its happening now and I don't really have a choice.

Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike it. In fact, I am looking forward to it. It would be a chance to get away from it all, to start again, to learn good things, to create new friendships, to write letters home, to buy gifts back for everyone I care for, to learn the pain of missing home and family and friends, to relearn the art of putting down roots in a new place... It would be an experience.

But it could have happened in a different way. I guess I never really had the power to choose. And I guess I should have realised that a long, long time ago. Maybe I did and just never acknowledged it. I've always been (mostly) an optimist, an idealist. And I still don't think that was wrong.

So in exactly another 2 weeks, I'll be leaving to another country. To another stage in my life. Maybe the time away from home will teach me something. I'll definitely try to learn, anyhow. I was and still am game for change. And this is a big one. So wish me luck because I'm going to need it.

p.s : Thanks for the prompt, Shan :)